As we've established before, I'm not Irish… like AT ALL! In fact, I’m pretty sure if I spit into one of those ancestry sites, they’d give me about 1% Irish – and that’s probably just because they feel bad for me and want to add something “exotic” to my family tree. I mean, come on, at least one of those ancestry companies could throw me a bone, right? Something like, “Ah yes, 1% Irish, 15% 'totally made up,' and 84% confusion.” But nope, they’d probably still say I'm 100% bland American and leave it at that.

So, when it comes to celebrating St. Patrick’s Day, I’m not over here singing “Danny Boy” or pretending I know the first thing about leprechauns or real Irish traditions. Instead, I’ll be doing what I do best: totally faking it, but in a deliciously sugary way. And what’s more faux Irish than a treat made with something that’s so far removed from anything Irish, it might as well be a piece of cardboard covered in glitter? Enter… Lucky Charms Rice Krispies Treats.

I’m not even going to pretend like these treats have anything to do with Ireland, other than the fact that they kind of look like a rainbow exploded in a cereal box and thought, “Yes, let’s just cover that in marshmallows.” In fact, Lucky Charms have about as much to do with St. Patrick’s Day as I do with, well, a leprechaun. But hey, it’s green, it’s sugary, and it’s fun. So, let’s dive in and make this totally authentic St. Patrick’s Day snack together, because why not?

First, let me preface this by saying that if you are looking for an ancient Irish recipe passed down from generation to generation, you might want to leave now. The only thing ancient about this recipe is how long it takes me to convince myself to get off the couch to actually make it. But trust me, once you get the ingredients together, you’ll be knee-deep in a sugary, marshmallowy disaster, and your taste buds will thank you for it. Probably.

Ingredients:

• 6 cups Rice Krispies cereal (yes, the classic one, because we’re here for nostalgia, not real authenticity)
• 2 cups Lucky Charms cereal (this is where the “Irish” magic happens... kind of)
• 1/4 cup (half a stick) butter (because calories are irrelevant when it’s St. Patrick's Day, right?)
• 1 package (10 oz) mini marshmallows (or more, if you're feeling rebellious and want a marshmallow avalanche)
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract (because it’s the only vanilla that knows how to party)
• A pinch of salt (because, you know, life’s a balance of sweet and salty, and we want that perfect harmony)

Instructions:

1. Prepare Your Work Area (and Your Heart for the Sugar Rush)

   Start by lining a 9x13-inch baking dish with parchment paper or spraying it lightly with non-stick spray. Trust me, you do not want to skip this step, or you’ll be spending hours scraping marshmallow goo off of your baking dish like it’s your full-time job. Once that’s done, you can have a moment to appreciate the mess that’s about to unfold in your kitchen.

2. Melt the Butter and Marshmallows (It’s Like Magic, Except Not Really)

   Grab a large saucepan, because things are about to get sticky. Melt the butter over medium-low heat. While that’s happening, open the bag of marshmallows and feel the brief joy of realizing that the more you open bags of marshmallows, the more your hopes of a healthy diet crumble. Once the butter has melted, dump in the marshmallows and stir constantly until they’re fully melted and gooey. The key here is to keep stirring so they don’t burn, and also to keep pretending you’re making something “homemade” instead of just glorified cereal.

3. Add the Vanilla and Salt (Because We’re Fancy Like That)

   Once the marshmallows are all melty and smooth, add in your vanilla extract and a pinch of salt. Stir it around until everything’s combined, and then take a moment to appreciate how good it smells. You know, like an entire sugar factory just exploded in your kitchen.

4. Mix in the Rice Krispies and Lucky Charms Cereal (It’s Like a Rainbow Took Over Your Kitchen)

   Now, for the fun part: Add the Rice Krispies and Lucky Charms cereals to the marshmallow mixture. Gently stir it all together until the cereal is fully coated in marshmallowy goodness. The goal is to get everything nice and sticky, so you’re basically making a giant marshmallow-covered blob of cereal, which is exactly what we want.

   Side note: Try to control your excitement when the marshmallows start sticking to your hands. It’s like a mini craft project, except edible and slightly less frustrating than making slime.

5. Press Into the Pan (Brace Yourself for the Stickiness)

   Once everything’s well-mixed, pour the cereal mixture into your prepared baking dish. Here comes the part that always drives me crazy: pressing it down into the dish. It’s sticky, it’s messy, and somehow, you always manage to get marshmallow all over your face, your hands, and your dog. But don’t give up! Just use a spatula or your hands (covered in a bit of butter to avoid a sticky disaster) to press the mixture evenly into the pan. Try to make it look somewhat uniform, but let’s be real: we’re not working for a Michelin star here.

6. Let It Set (If You Can Wait That Long)

   Allow the treats to set for at least an hour, or until they’re firm enough to cut into squares. If you're as impatient as I am, you can speed up this process by sticking them in the fridge for about 30 minutes.

   Important tip: If you try to cut them too early, you'll just have a sticky mess that resembles something a toddler made during a sugar-fueled craft session.

7. Eat, Enjoy, and Wonder Why You Didn’t Just Stick to Potatoes

   Finally, the moment you've been waiting for: cut those babies into squares, and prepare for your taste buds to be hit with the sugary blast of nostalgia, rainbows, and pure sugar joy. They’re chewy, marshmallowy, and full of colorful cereal—exactly the kind of thing you'd expect to see on a “St. Patrick’s Day” table if the Irish were really into sugar.

So, here we are, folks. Lucky Charms Rice Krispies Treats. They're sugary, they're amazing, and they’re no more Irish than I am (which is to say, not at all). But you know what? That’s okay! When you can’t be 1% Irish, at least you can be 100% delicious. Happy St. Patrick's Day! Let’s just hope this treat brings a little bit of Irish luck (or at least a sugar high) to your life.