Okay, folks, we need to talk about sourdough starter. If you’ve gotten into sourdough to any degree, you’ve likely encountered one of its biggest existential dilemmas: the sourdough discard. Yes, the starter discard. You know, that portion of your sourdough starter that you have to remove every time you feed it? The portion that, for the longest time, just went down the drain like it was some kind of sourdough trash that didn’t deserve a second chance? Yeah, that.

And you know what? It’s depressing. I’d feel better throwing my starter discard directly into the trash, but my heart would break. My baby’s gonna waste away, I’d think. Every time I’d pour it down the drain, I’d whisper, “Goodbye, sweet starter. I’ll never be able to live with myself again.” The guilt was real. And, let’s be honest, the only thing worse than throwing out your sourdough discard is watching it accumulate in your fridge, mocking you. (If you’re really into sourdough, you’re probably looking at about a half gallon’s worth every week, which is a literal mountain of discarded starter.)

But fear not, dear fellow sourdough enthusiast! The solution is here: sourdough discard recipes. Enter stage left: the Sourdough Discard Double Chocolate Muffins—because who has time for wasted starter, right? And, let’s be real, it’s February, which means I’m about 12 minutes away from completely abandoning all pretenses of healthy eating and embarking on a full-fledged chocolate bender. These muffins may be the best way to ensure I make it through the month without descending into the chaos of endless chocolate consumption. (Just kidding. This is chaos. But a very delicious, muffin-filled kind of chaos.)

So, let’s talk about how much I adore my sourdough starter these days. Truly, I’m doing great on the “keep up with my sourdough starter” resolution. Remember those New Year’s resolutions that everyone’s so excited about in January? Well, mine was to not let my starter die this year. It was a low bar, but, you know, goals are goals. I’ve been faithfully feeding my starter every day, nurturing it like a tiny, sour, fermenting pet. It’s my little sourdough baby, and I love it. The starter’s alive! I’m so proud of myself!

But the discard...the discard. That’s where the struggle happens. Every time I feed it, I look at that discard and think, “I’m not going to throw you away. I promise.” Yet, there it goes, down the drain like a broken dream. It’s like this unspoken shame. You get so excited about feeding your starter, but the discard... well, it’s just there. Staring at you from the bowl. Feeling unappreciated. But now, with these muffins, no longer.

Let me clarify, these muffins are not some sad attempt at a healthy snack. No, no. These muffins are basically unfrosted cupcakes. And yes, I’m calling them “breakfast” food, because that is the magical power of self-deception. Just slap the word “breakfast” on anything (especially chocolate), and bam, suddenly it’s the most nutritious meal of the day. Don’t question it. Let’s move forward. Muffins for breakfast.

So, let’s dive into the recipe for these sourdough discard double chocolate muffins. Make them. Eat them. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll stop feeling like a sourdough failure. Let’s get to it.

Sourdough Discard Double Chocolate Muffins Recipe

Ingredients:

• 1 cup sourdough discard (preferably not straight from the drain, but hey, no judgment)
• 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour (feel free to use a healthier flour... but we’re here for the chocolate, okay?)
• 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder (the dark, rich kind, because we are making chocolate muffins, not sad chocolate-flavored air)
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup sugar (yes, it’s February, don’t question this)
• 2 large eggs (because who doesn’t want a muffin with a bit of structure?)
• 1/2 cup melted butter (or vegetable oil, whatever you’ve got on hand, let’s be real)
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract (if you have the good stuff, go for it, but I’m not picky)
• 1/2 cup milk (or buttermilk if you’re fancy)
• 1 cup chocolate chips (because you don’t just want a hint of chocolate, you want the whole chocolate experience)
• 1/2 cup chopped dark chocolate (for the chocoholics among us)

Instructions:

1. Preheat your oven to 350°F (175°C) and line a muffin tin with cupcake liners or grease it generously. You’re going to want to get these bad boys out with minimal struggle. Trust me.
2. In a large mixing bowl, whisk together the flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Feel free to pretend you’re a professional baker while you do this. A little flour dust on your face never hurt anyone.
3. In a separate bowl, beat together the sugar, eggs, melted butter, vanilla extract, and milk until fully combined. I highly suggest singing the "I Will Survive" anthem while you do this. It helps with the energy.
4. Add the sourdough discard to the wet ingredients and mix. It might look like a lumpy mess at first, but don’t panic. That’s just the starter doing its thing. Give it a good stir until it all comes together.
5. Gradually fold the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients, being careful not to overmix (we’re making muffins, not a cake, so let’s keep the fluffiness intact). The batter should be thick and chocolatey—like the muffin version of a warm hug.
6. Fold in the chocolate chips and chopped dark chocolate. (I feel no need to explain why you need extra chocolate. It's February. Let's not kid ourselves.)
7. Divide the batter evenly into the muffin tin. Fill each cup about 3/4 full. And yes, you can go ahead and add a few extra chocolate chips on top for visual effect. We’re not here for subtlety.
8. Bake for 18-22 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean (or, you know, covered in chocolate, which is fine, too).
9. Let the muffins cool for a bit, but honestly, who has time for that? Eat them warm for maximum indulgence.

Conclusion:

And there you have it—your very own batch of Sourdough Discard Double Chocolate Muffins. These things are so rich and chocolaty, you’ll barely remember that you were trying to reduce food waste. Instead, you’ll be floating in a sea of happiness, crumbs, and chocolate, asking yourself why you ever questioned using that starter discard.

As for the resolution to keep my starter alive? Let’s call it a win. I’m using it up, and my muffin addiction is in full swing. And if anyone asks, I’ll simply nod sagely and say, “Oh yes, these muffins? They’re a breakfast food. Definitely nutritious.”

Now, go forth and bake your heart out. Your sourdough discard deserves to be loved, not discarded. (See what I did there?) Happy baking!