The other day, while minding my own business and definitely not eavesdropping on the girls at work when, I heard one of them say, “I don’t really like cookies.”
Pause for dramatic effect.
I gasped. Internally. I didn’t want to startle anyone in the office or make the my co-workers think I was about to flip their table in defense of baked goods. But my cookie-loving heart shattered into bite-sized pieces.
But then, in the spirit of journalistic curiosity—and because they were talking really loudly—I kept listening. What they were really saying was, “There are just some cookies I don’t like.”
Okay. Phew. Less dramatic, but still mildly offensive.
I mean, sure, I guess we’re all allowed our personal tastes. Some people don’t like raisins in cookies. That’s understandable—raisins do have a sneaky way of pretending to be chocolate chips, and that kind of betrayal cuts deep. And maybe you’ve had one too many hockey-puck-esque gluten-free monstrosities posing as “healthy cookies” and now you live in fear. Again, I get it. Cookie trauma is real.
But then one of them said—and I quote—“I don’t like Peanut Butter Cookies.”
Reader, I almost cried at my desk.
Peanut. Butter. Cookies.
Who hurt you?
I don't mean to be dramatic (which is a lie—I absolutely do), but this felt like finding out someone doesn’t like puppies. Or naps. Or joy. Peanut butter cookies are the backbone of the American cookie canon. They’re soft, a little chewy, lightly crumbly, just salty enough, and packed with roasted peanutty goodness. If cookies had a comfort food category, peanut butter would be the lead singer, the star quarterback, and prom queen all in one. Like I used to dunk hunks of chocolate into the peanut butter jar as my afternoon snack. (Ahhh, those days when I had a metabolism…)
So, I made a decision. A heroic, selfless, not-at-all-cookie-craving decision.
I was going to bake a batch of classic peanut butter cookies and offer one to the peanut-butter-cookie-hater. Not in an aggressive “taste this or else” kind of way—although, let’s be honest, that was the energy—but more in a “let me right a wrong done to your taste buds” kind of way.
Mostly, I just wanted an excuse to bake them. And eat them. A lot of them. Ivy was in full support. When I told her my plan, she wanted my assurance that she’d be getting the lion share of the cookie bounty. No worries big girl, I got you!
But before I give you the recipe that just might save a soul today, let me be clear about one thing:
Crumbl is overrated.
There. I said it. I know this might get me banned from certain influencer brunches, but I stand by it. $5 for a cookie the size of a salad plate that tastes like it was made by someone who read the idea of a cookie in a dream once? No thank you. I’d rather have a good, honest, homemade cookie made with love, a little bit of self-doubt, and that don’t need 7 pounds of frosting and extras to hide under.
Also, boxed cookies? Let’s be real: boxes are where cookies go to die. They’re the stale echo of what once was a glorious treat. A box of cookies is like texting your ex at 2 a.m.—regret comes quickly and tastes a little like cardboard.
So now that I’ve insulted major cookie conglomerates and alienated people who are just trying their best with Chips Ahoy, let’s move on to the good stuff.
Classic Peanut Butter Cookies (a.k.a. the Redemption Round)
Ingredients:
- 1 cup creamy peanut butter (none of that “natural oil separation” situation—it messes with the texture)
- 1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
- 1 cup granulated sugar
- 1/2 cup packed brown sugar
- 1 large egg
- 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
- 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- Optional: extra sugar for rolling, chocolate chips if you're feeling wild
Instructions:
- Preheat your oven to 350°F (175°C). Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or, if you’re like me and out of parchment, the back of a Trader Joe’s bag (desperate times).
- Cream together the peanut butter, butter, granulated sugar, and brown sugar. This is a good arm workout unless you’ve finally forgiven yourself for not using the stand mixer that’s gathering dust in your cabinet.
- Add the egg and vanilla. Beat until it’s smooth and your batter looks like the kind of thing you’d eat with a spoon even though you know there’s raw egg in it.
- In a separate bowl, whisk together flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. Or just dump it all in and pretend you’re whisking it mid-pour—no judgment.
- Combine the dry with the wet until just mixed. If it gets a little crumbly, use your hands. If it’s perfect, congratulations—you win today’s bake-off.
- Roll the dough into 1-inch balls and (optional but highly encouraged) roll in granulated sugar.
- Place on baking sheet and gently press down with a fork in a crisscross pattern. This is the universal peanut butter cookie symbol. It's basically a handshake for your oven.
- Bake for 9–11 minutes until edges are lightly golden. The centers will look a little underbaked—trust the process. They’ll set up as they cool.
- Cool on a wire rack or, if you’re me, eat three straight from the tray and wonder why your mouth feels like it just ran a peanut butter marathon.
So now it’s your turn. Skip the box. Skip the over-frosted, neon-sprinkled calorie bricks. Go bake some cookies that taste like a hug from someone who remembers your birthday and never judges your fourth trip to the fridge.
Bake them for someone who doesn’t like peanut butter cookies, but if they’re like Zander (ARFID follows its own rules) be nice if they politely decline. There’ll be more for you! Bake them for yourself. Bake them for your next door neighbor. But bake up a batch right away.
And when you do, just know: you’re sharing a classic.
A chewy, golden, salty-sweet classic that tickles the tastebuds—one crisscrossed cookie at a time.
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