Have you ever bought something from the store for years—decades, even—without ever questioning its mysterious origins? Like, you just assume it appears on the shelf by magic, packaged lovingly by grocery store fairies who live in the ceiling tiles above aisle five?
Just me?
No, seriously, am I the only one who spent an embarrassingly long portion of their adult life thinking granola was one of those things best left to the professionals?
Listen. For far longer than I care to admit (which is conveniently the same amount of time I will never specify here), I bought granola from the store like it was a rare artisanal good requiring a grain whisperer and a yoga-certified oat therapist to produce.
In my early 20s, back when my idea of “having it together” was remembering to water the basil plant I inevitably killed anyway, I was a devotee of the fancy Whole Foods bulk granola. You know the stuff. The one with the pecans and coconut and whispers of cinnamon that cost approximately $19 per scoop? I was out there living large—no kids, two incomes, and zero idea what anything cost because I had no budget and a weird trust in my credit card limit.
Then kids came. And with them came diapers, doctor copays, the discovery that baby socks are mysteriously expensive, and the general realization that perhaps $19-a-scoop granola was…not a wise life choice.
So I graduated to the “whatever’s on sale” granola. And while I stand by the fact that most things taste better when consumed over the kitchen sink while hiding from small children, I could no longer ignore the fact that some of those sale granolas had the texture of dried hamster bedding and roughly the same flavor.
And then—cue the angelic choir and soft spotlight—I was flipping through a cookbook (yes, an actual physical cookbook, which I still love even though Pinterest is easier) and found a recipe for Homemade Granola.
I blinked. Reread it. Looked around the room, like someone might jump out and say “GOTCHA! That’s a trick recipe. You’ll need six types of sugar and a candy thermometer.”
But no. It was just…oats. Nuts. Oil. Honey. Maybe some cinnamon if you’re fancy. It was like being handed the keys to the oat kingdom. I could do this.
So I did. And my life hasn’t been the same since. Mostly because now I judge store-bought granola like I’m in a competition show. (“Oh, interesting choice using corn syrup instead of honey. BOLD. But ultimately, it lacks soul.”). I’ve been doing this home made granola thing for years now, and if I can - you can, too! Now, Ivy and Zander’s ARFID means this is a little exotic for them, but I’m going to find the flavor combination that will bring them over to team granola. Or not, ARFID is like that and I love them and all the extra granola I get all to myself.
Anyway. I’m passing the granola baton to you, my friends. This is your moment. No more shelf-stable mystery mix. You can make your own, and it will be so much better than anything you buy. You can customize it to your taste, fill your kitchen with the cozy smell of toasted oats, and knock one more thing off your grocery list. Win-win-win.
Homemade Granola That Will Ruin You for the Store-Bought Stuff
Ingredients:
- 3 cups old-fashioned rolled oats (not the quick-cooking kind; we want texture, not mush)
- 1 cup nuts/seeds of your choice (almonds, pecans, walnuts, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds—go wild!)
- 1/2 cup shredded coconut (optional but delicious)
- 1/2 cup dried fruit (cranberries, raisins, chopped apricots—add after baking)
- 1/2 tsp salt
- 1 tsp cinnamon (optional, but honestly, just add it)
- 1/3 cup maple syrup or honey (pick your team)
- 1/3 cup coconut oil, olive oil, or butter (melted)
- 1 tsp vanilla extract
Directions:
- Preheat your oven to 325°F (165°C). Line a large baking sheet with parchment paper. You can skip this step and just butter the sheet, but parchment = easy cleanup = more time to do literally anything else.
- In a large bowl, combine oats, nuts/seeds, coconut (if using), salt, and cinnamon. Stir it around like you know what you’re doing.
- In a small saucepan or microwave-safe bowl, gently warm the maple syrup (or honey), oil, and vanilla together. Don’t boil it—just warm enough to melt and mix.
- Pour the wet mixture over the dry ingredients and stir like you’re trying to impress someone. Make sure every little oat is glistening and happy.
- Spread the mixture evenly onto your prepared baking sheet. Bake for about 20–25 minutes, stirring once halfway through, until golden and fragrant. (Watch it like a hawk at the end—it goes from golden to “well that’s charcoal now” in about 90 seconds.)
- Let it cool completely on the pan. It will crisp up as it cools—magic!
- Once cooled, stir in your dried fruit of choice. Store in an airtight container for up to 2 weeks. (It won’t last that long. You’ll eat it straight out of the jar with your bare hands while pretending to “just check on it.”)
Ways to Enjoy Your New Granola Empire
- Cereal-style with milk or yogurt. Top with fresh fruit if you’re feeling virtuous.
- As a snack on road trips, park days, or anytime you’re trying not to eat the entire contents of your pantry.
- Ice cream topping, because balance.
- Crumbled on baked apples with a scoop of vanilla ice cream, for a ten-second dessert that makes it look like you tried.
So there you have it. Homemade granola: easy, endlessly customizable, and one of those rare things that makes you feel like a domestic wizard with zero effort. All it takes is one batch and you’ll find yourself wondering, “What else have I been outsourcing that I could totally be crushing in my own kitchen?”
Look out, grocery store fairies. Your reign is ending. I’ve got oats, and I know how to use them.
Happy granola-ing, friends.
0 comments