Ruby is the New Pink: My Knockoff Starbucks Pink Drink (With a Twist)

Isn’t it funny how widespread the Starbucks Pink Drink is now? Like, one minute it was this hush-hush beverage only the cool teens and caffeinated insiders knew about, and the next, it was everywhere. Moms, TikTokers, your neighbor’s dog—all casually sipping something that looks like Barbie’s bathwater and costs more than my car insurance deductible.

Let’s rewind for a second. Once upon a time, long, long ago (2016 or sometime around then—time is a blur), the Pink Drink was on the Secret Menu.
OOOOOOHH!
Cue the mystery, the intrigue, the slightly smug feeling you got when ordering it like you were cracking some sort of caffeinated code.

And then the internet did what it always does: spilled the tea (literally, in this case), and suddenly the Pink Drink became as mainstream as pumpkin spice and emotional burnout. But you know what? I’m not mad. It’s pink. It’s fruity. It’s creamy. It tastes like a juice box that graduated from college and got a 401(k).

So naturally, I had to jump on the trend. But because I’m me, I couldn’t just make the Pink Drink. I had to be extra. (If this surprises you, you must be new here—hi, welcome, I’m a chaos goblin with a blender.)

My version? It’s a little tart, a little mysterious, and very not pink. I use Cran-Raspberry juice instead of the traditional white cranberry-strawberry stuff because I’m a rebel and that’s what was in my fridge. So instead of a Pink Drink, I’m calling mine the Ruby Drink.

Special, I know. Please hold your applause.

But no matter what I call it, it’s refreshing. Like, I’m-about-to-pass-out-in-my-own-driveway level refreshing. And look, I know we’re all supposed to be drinking water and taking vitamins and doing adult things, but sometimes I just want a pretty drink that makes me feel like I have my life together, even if I very much do not. Especially on those days when I’m out of my mind hot and really trying to resist the siren song of my childhood friend: Grape Kool-Aid.

(Kool-Aid is not “in” for adults. I still drink it. I just don’t advertise it, my friends. It’s my little shameful summer secret. That and eating cereal straight from the box at 10 p.m.)  I just tell people I have it around for the kids.  Yeah, you know the ones.  They’re adults, too. (But closer to kiddo than me, so it’s legit, right?)

But this Ruby Drink? This one I will advertise. Because it’s beautiful, delicious, and I can make it at home in my pajamas for a fraction of what Starbucks wants to charge me for the honor of drinking something made mostly of juice and ice.

So let’s get into it, shall we?

Ruby Drink (Knockoff Starbucks Pink Drink With a Twist)

Serves 2, or one very thirsty adult who thinks hydration should also be fun

Ingredients:

• 1 herbal dragon fruit tea bag (I use Tazo Passion or anything vaguely fruity and pink-adjacent)

• 1/2 cup Cran-Raspberry juice (not the diet kind—live a little)

• 1/2 cup cold water

• 1/2 cup light coconut milk (from a can or carton—just don’t get the super thick canned stuff unless you're going for a smoothie situation)

• 1–2 teaspoons simple syrup, honey, or your sweetener of choice (optional, depending on your juice and tea)

• 1/3 cup freeze dried strawberries.  (These are the secret ingredient, trust me!)

• Ice, because it’s 9000 degrees outside

• Optional: splash of sparkling water for ✨vibes✨

Instructions:

1. Brew your tea.
   Steep that dragon fruit tea bag in 1/2 cup hot water. Let it sit for about 5 minutes, then remove the bag and let it cool. I usually toss it in the fridge while I go argue with my kids about screen time or stand in front of the fan like a Victorian woman recovering from a fainting spell.

2. Get your glass on.
   Fill a large glass or mason jar with ice. Add a handful of frozen or fresh strawberries. This is mostly for Instagram and the illusion that you’re hydrated via whole fruits.

3. Mix the magic.
   In a shaker or just a regular glass with a spoon (we are not here for extra dishes), mix the cooled tea, Cran-Raspberry juice, and coconut milk. Give it a taste—add sweetener if you want it sweeter. I usually do, because I’m basically a hummingbird.

4. Pour and pose.
   Pour the drink over your ice and strawberries. Optional: top with a little sparkling water if you like bubbles and chaos.

5. Admire your creation.
   Take a moment. You made a $12 drink for the cost of…well, way less than that. Take a picture. Text it to your group chat with the caption: “Look at me adulting.” Then go sit on your porch or couch or air-conditioned floor and sip like the royalty you are.

Final Thoughts From a Sweaty, Slightly Sticky Adult:

Is this drink going to change your life? Probably not. But is it going to make you feel like you’ve got your act together for five glorious, ice-cold minutes? Oh yes.

Will you become obsessed and start referring to it as “my signature summer beverage” in casual conversation? Let’s not to that, we don’t want anyone smacking us, do we?

And let’s be real—half the joy of something like this is just feeling fancy. Fancy while broke. Fancy while tired. Fancy while trying to remember if you already folded that laundry or if it’s still wet in the machine from yesterday. (Spoiler: it’s still wet.)

So yeah, maybe this isn’t the real Pink Drink, and maybe Starbucks will come for me with a cease and desist one day (hi, lawyers! love your work!). But this is my Ruby Drink, and she’s pretty, she’s chill, and she’s here for hot, sweaty, cranky grownups who still low-key want juice boxes but with better branding.

Cheers, my beautiful, parched friends. Drink up.

P.S. If you add a little rum to this, I will not judge you. In fact, I will respect you deeply and possibly ask for your exact measurements.